​​It’s 6.42am on the 15th September, 2020.

It’s been almost three years since I decided to write this, and I still receive at least 4-5 emails, per week.

9 days ago, I opened an email from a beautiful woman after she came across our story.
Within her email she asked, “does it get easier after you ‘succeed’”?
I don’t like the word ‘succeed’. It leaves open an opportunity to call the situation, whatever it may be, a ‘fail’, and that’s not what I believe any of my unborn children, were.
The first part of my response followed:
“The saying goes; you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. The truth is; you know exactly what you had- you just never thought you’d lose it.
My losses never get easier, but they do become clearer.
Every time we look at her, they become clearer”.

To the women whom are yet to become mothers.
To the women that are mothers.
To the women who have never seen their child’s eyes open, or had the chance to feel their tiny little fingers grasp yours.
To the women who hide behind a bittersweet smile as mothers around them fall so quickly.
To the women who are bruised on the outside from countless injections, yet internally, battered from heartbreak-
I see you. I feel you. I were, you.
And when the time comes, there is a 99% chance, I will once again, be you.

When your heart is yearning, giving up is simply not an option.
So when the walls feel like they are caving in, reach for me.
I am not a life coach, though I do belong to the 1 in 4 whom have experienced loss through miscarriage. Who have felt heartbreak, heartache and emptiness, who has shed more tears than the human body was ever meant to, and who, with nothing else but faith, came out the other side.
So I will always listen. I will never judge.
I will never turn the other direction. I will always, be here.

Mamma, this ride is going to be a scary one. But please, trust me when I tell you to just, hold on.
Because one day, you will be the one telling your story, and it will be the reason someone else, never gave up.
My name is Nicole.
And as our story has no finish line,
I have since become, a very proud mother, of five.